Boys on the Beach

I'm deep in a coloring book.
It's not just the Princesses, it's every girl who's ever been in a Disney Movie.
Lilo, Nala, the little girl who Mowgli follows into the village...
I make her outfit pink with purple stripes.
I'm in a basement and something makes me feel like a sleepover is going to take place.
Sleeping bag?

Mom and Dad are cleaning out the pool.
She skims the plants and random debris off the top,
Then he walks straight in the water
fully clothed
freezing cold
to get the things that have sunk below. A log, a card table...
It's already looking pretty good. 

And then He gets home, my guy, my love. Smiling at me but
Annoyed because he was meaning to clean the pool himself.
Trying not to let his irritation show
Pretends he smells something bad
Pulls me back to my room--yes, there's a sleeping bag spread on the floor,
and we watch...something.
We're all staying there together, including

My boss who wants us to go to the beach now.
No hesitation, I grab my green bikini and we drive there
[the road to the beach looks like it always does in my dreams--street to pier, pet shop, park with dunes; nothing from real life.]
And we're out in the water and we're talking to

A woman who gives massages to manatees. So yeah, we're in Florida.
They are injured.
She helps them swim out to the end of the pier, where a hole in the ground
Shoots up large bubbles of sulfur every minute or so.
They smell awful but feel warm like an oven, almost dry even underwater.
The manatees love them.
She rubs their bellies and shoulders. I do the same. [They aren't cuter or weirder in my dream, they're just...manatees. Much like I imagine they would be.]

My boyfriend the rock star, the celebrity.
He swims out, scoops me up, and starts walking me to shore in his arms.
A long line of girls flanks us, screaming, wishing they were me.
"Kiss me. Make them jealous. I know, it's terrible to, but--"
But he does. We talk in low voices and he makes me laugh, then--
Then I'm all alone.

I'm walking by myself out of the water.
The girls are still there, but not excited.
A moment of panic--I made him up. He was just imaginary
and I got so caught up I forgot he wasn't real I'm a delusional lunatic I'm sad and alone and will always be--

I walk up the beach and into the first building I come to
And there, leaning against the front counter and reading something, is him.
My guy,
not a rock star I imagined but the real him: swim trunks, white t-shirt, hat.
My feeling of relief is so great that it wakes me up.